Not Worthy of Love

You say you really like me now, but in time you won’t.

Right now, you see me as fun, vibrant, full of life, and excitement.

Your drawn to my fun-loving attitude and confidence, but just for now.

Today you’re enthralled by the prospect of loving me, but one day you’ll wake up and hate me.

You don’t see it now, but eventually my persistent, loyal and undying love for you will become routine, even annoying.

What you see right now as something beautiful to chase down, pursue, and attain, will slowly and steadily become a trapping burden you can’t wait to shake free.

Right now, you see me as cute and lovable, someone you wan’t to be seen with and show off to your friends, but when the tough times come, and I slip into hardship or depression, you’ll think differently of me.

For some, it’s only a matter of days or weeks, for others, perhaps as long as a year, but regardless, the inevitable will come and what you feel for me now, you won’t feel anymore.

I’ll love you from day one, and my love will only grow and increase, but yours will waver and dissipate as mine extends and strengths.

The kisses you cherish and long for now will eventually become unwanted, your passion for me: indifferent.

Nothing about my character will change.

I’ll be the same guy you met and fell for on day one, but in time, you’ll grow annoyed and tired of that guy.

You don’t see it now, but in a few weeks, months, or years, you’ll pity me, and maybe even lose all respect for me.

Right now, you’re open and honest, caring and kind-hearted, going out of your way to be around me, but the day will come when you’ll deny me my dignity, and you’ll muster the courage to finally follow through with your plan to walk out of my life and disappear from me entirely.

You might be sad at first, but not for long.

I know you don’t see any of this right now because you’re in love with the idea of me, but I have my doubts that you’ll fall in love with my actual self.

The crooked smile you like right now that makes your heart melt, you’ll eventually not like anymore.

My antics, humor, and sensitivity you’ll eventually start to make fun of.

My heart trembles in fear of you, but I can’t help but take the risk, hoping that maybe this time will be different, and you’ll be the one to love me back.

Every day I’ll fall more and more in love with you.

My hopes, dreams, goals, desires and ambitions will shift off of myself and my career, and onto you.

I’ll live to serve you with hopes of building a life and a family with you.

I’ll romance you into oblivion and take you on a million dates to a million places to do a million things.

And at first, you will love all of this.

But the day will come when you wake up and instead of snuggling close or kissing me on the face, you’ll keep to your side of the bed.

In an apathetic state, you’ll find me repulsive, even though nothing about me has changed.

When I go through hard times and I need you most, you might see unattractive weakness, and turn away.

You’ll develop fantasies about past boyfriends, romanticizing them and engaging them in conversation when they text and message you.

Or perhaps you’ll start to crave the excitement of someone new, someone other than me.

Or maybe you’ll just want to be alone or with your friends and family, without the burden of me.

You’ll slowly start to spend less and less time with me, leaving me confused and upset.

What you see right now as an enticing, loving, and confident spirit that excites you, you’ll one day tire of, and you won’t know exactly why.

Strangely, or not so strangely, you’ll crave conflict, and you won’t find it with me, even when you try to start it.

This will disappoint you.

I will disappoint you.

Right now, you’re in love with my personality, except over time, the very persona you love now you’ll eventually exhaust.

You’ll desire newness and adventure, and although I’ll constantly surprise you with weekend trips, handmade gifts, new restaurants, towns, cities, and places to explore, because you’re doing these things with me and not someone new, or someone old, you’ll see them as routine.

I’m only saying these things so I can protect myself from your inevitable disregard for me, because I’ll want to invest my whole life and being into you.

So although you’re infatuated by me now, and we’re having a lot of fun spending time together, think long-term and then decide whether or not you want to love me.

Am I the kind of person you could love like you do now in ten, twenty, or forty years?

I know you are to me.

I wish I was to you.

disciple | impractical daydreamer | creative writer | photographer

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *